Ushi Says Hi!

One day in Vietnam we ate at this place called Ushi’s. None of us thought anything of it, until we saw movie posters all over the place for a movie called ‘Ushi Says Hi’. We had never heard of it so we jumped on the free wifi and IMDBed it. Apparently, ‘Ushi Says Hi’ is a movie that was released in the Netherlands and did quite well. We were just talking about it when Ushi herself walked in [we knew it was her because we recognized her from the poster].

Ushi owned the restaurant and when she heard that it was my friend Pat’s birthday that night, she insisted on joining our table and giving Pat a birthday present [it was a rat figurine, since Pat was born in ’84; the year of the rat. From that point forward everyone called Pat, “Pat the Rat”, for the entirety of the trip.]

So Ushi sits at our table for a bit and starts talking to us and then she gets this grin on her face and asks if we would like to see her collection. Thinking that she was talking about dolls or stamps, or even baseball cards, we all say yes.

So she pulls out her phone [and shows us the background picture, which was her in a bikini; weird] and proceeds to show us a strange collection of pictures. It took me a full five seconds of staring at one of these to realize what they were; the tops of people’s bald heads.

Apparently Ushi has a fascination with the top of bald heads, and whenever someone comes into her restaurant with a bald head, she takes a picture of it on her phone. To date she has over 500 pictures in her collection. Obviously, none of us really knew how to respond to that. I guess that becoming a Dutch movie star makes a person a little bit crazy.

For those disbelieving among you, I took a picture of Ushi’s phone with my phone. You can see below only a few of the 5000 bald heads in her collection.